The 2020/21 season is only a few weeks old, but it has already brought us a ridiculous amount of goals and the kind of excitement which we haven’t seen in years.
All the bonkers games have given plenty of players around Europe the chance to shine, and it’s up to us at 90min to rank the top 15. You know the drill by now.
This week, we’re throwing it back to the cinematic brilliance of 1967.
“I didn’t have dough handed to me because of my good cheekbones, I had to earn it.” (Valley of the Dolls)
Fabio Quagliarella has had to work hard to become one of the world’s deadliest strikers. It’s just a shame he waited until his late 30s to do so.
A goal in Sampdoria’s impressive 3-1 win over Atalanta means Quagliarella has now scored in four consecutive games. He’s wants another Capocannoniere.
“I don’t think that you could let an opportunity like that pass by.” (In the Heat of the Night)
On just his second Eredivisie start, 19-year-old Ajax striker Lassina Traoré scored five goals and managed an extra three assists. How’s that for taking your chances?
He followed that up with another goal and an extra assist in a 2-2 draw with Atalanta. It looks like Ajax have found another gem.
“Well, I would say that I’m just drifting.” (The Graduate)
At 33 years old, Francesco Caputo isn’t doing much fast these days. He spends a lot of time drifting around the pitch, but has learned how to get a boat load of goals from doing so.
The Sassuolo man grabbed another goal this week and now sits on five goals and three assists in his last four games.
“That’s it, baby, when you’ve got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!” (The Producers)
Now on the grand stage at Benfica, Darwin Núñez is really strutting his stuff.
This week was the first in which the 21-year-old didn’t grab an assist, but he made up for it by firing home a goal to help keep Benfica at the top of the table.
“She did that on purpose!”
“Obviously.” (The Jungle Book)
Sadio Mané definitely assisted Diogo Jota’s winner against Sheffield United on purpose.
He’s been involved in a decisive goal for Liverpool in three of his last four games, proving why many see the Senegal international as Jürgen Klopp’s real star.
“He’s a natural born world-shaker.” (Cool Hand Luke)
The youngest goalscorer in El Clásico in the 21st century. Not bad.
Ansu Fati has been doing his best to keep Barcelona afloat in La Liga, but Ronald Koeman’s side are now without a win in their last three league games. Yikes.
“I ain’t good. I’m the best!”
“And modest!” (Bonnie and Clyde)
After a brief COVID-enforced break, Zlatan Ibrahimović is back and proving that he’s still one of the world’s finest strikers.
He’s played three Serie A games and scored twice in each of them, including a double in Milan‘s recent derby victory over Inter.
“Merlyn, make me a hawk! Let me fly away from here!” (Camelot)
Steven Berghuis is flying. In seven of his eight games so far this season, he has contributed to at least one goal.
Eight games, seven goals, four assists. Not too shabby.
“How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?” (The Producers)
Remember last season? When Spurs were bad, José Mourinho were bad and the squad were doomed to never win a trophy? Yeah, that’s not exactly the case these days.
Son Heung-min’s eighth goal of the season led Spurs to a 1-0 win over Burnley, making it four goals in his last three games.
“I feel like we’ve died and gone to heaven – only we’ve had to climb up.” (Barefoot in the Park)
Atalanta may have had a tough week, but wow does Papu Gómez play some heavenly football.
He came away from the 2-2 draw with Ajax with a crucial assist that got his side back into the game, but he’ll be keen to see that success carry back over to the league again.
“Damn it, you act as if you’re in kindergarten! This is the big bad world, full of mean people, where nasty things happen!”
“Now you tell me.” (Wait Until Dark)
After the unbelievable start to the season for Everton and Dominic Calvert-Lewin, things took a turn for the worst this week.
There were no goals in the 2-0 loss to Southampton, and the unbeaten start to the campaign is well and truly over.
“You’re almost nearly perfect!” (Barefoot in the Park)
The almost nearly perfect striker, Erling Haaland added two more goals to his Borussia Dortmund CV this week.
That’s eight goals from just nine games in all competitions this season, with Haaland strutting his stuff in both the Bundesliga and the Champions League.
“Whew! Man, that’s what I call a swingin’ party!” (The Jungle Book)
Just the three goals for Robert Lewandowski this week as Bayern Munich partied all over Eintracht Frankfurt.
He’s already in double figures for the season, and he’s only played five games… and he didn’t even score in one of them!
“It seems that you know so little, and are so easily amused, that I can look forward to a very happy time.” (To Sir, With Love)
Kylian Mbappe had a very happy time with this week.
The PSG man netted two goals against Dijon before creating two for Moise Kean against İstanbul Başakşehir. He’s only failed to get among the goals once this season, and by the looks of his form this week, it might be a while before a second team stops him.
“This fellow obviously knows what he’s talking about.”
“Who wrote the book, Doctor?”
“Er… oh, I did.” (Doctor Dolittle)
Nobody knows what he’s talking about in football these days quite like Harry Kane.
He might not have scored this week, but as Son was eager to find out, he did in fact get the assist in his side’s win over Burnley, taking his tally to nine in all competitions.